A Good Companion's Guide to the TARDIS
by The Mysterious Mary-chan
Summary: I was thinking there should be some rules for on the TARDIS and for companions to follow and some for the Doctor too! . So just sit back and enjoy! Please tell me what you think.
1. Rules: 1 10

**Hello and welcome to my first Doctor Who fic! I was thinking there should be some rules for on the TARDIS and for companions to follow (and some for the Doctor too!). So just sit back and enjoy!**

Rule 1#: NO JUST PRESSING BUTTONS!

(Only the Doctor can do that)

(And River)

(You can try if you like)

(You know if you want to end up IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!)

(With a pissed of Doctor and River)

(and no escape….)

Rule 2#: Don't diss the sonic

(Okay, so it can't open locked wooden doors)

(But IT CAN DO EVERYTHING ELSE)

(Like stop guns, hack into super computers and save your life)

(DISS THAT RORY!)

Rule 3#: No seducing

(Amy, Amy *shakes head*)

(THE DOCTOR DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU!)

(AND YOU HAVE RORY!)

(AND GETTING MARRIED!)

Rule 4#: No accidently telling people about the future

(*stroll out of the TARDIS causally*)

(Ask random guy "Hey, has the war started yet?")

(Random guy: "What war?")

(Oops!)

Rule 5#: Calling companions by the wrong name can cause some awkward moments

('So Rose, where do you want to go next?')

('Who's Rose? I'm Amy.')

(Try talking yourself out of that one Doctor!)

Rule 6#: The following nicknames are banned (see if you can guess you there're for)

*Ponder

*Pondy

*R-man

*Fezy

*River to the Song

*P to the pond

*Docy Boy

Rule 7#: When fighting Darleks don't say the following

*I'm not scared of you! I'm the Doctor! (Yeah…..not my best move)

*Oh Darleks! I'm so glad you're here! I have some eggs to be whipped and a blocked up sink! (I can't believe Amy said that with a straight face)

*Wazzup? (Oh, Rory)

* Don't make me sonic you!

Rule 8#: No blackmailing the Doctor

(He caught me with his sonic screwdriver)

('What do you think you're doing with that?')

("Oh, I'm just 'borrowing' it. You know, like how you 'borrowed' your TARDIS")

(*Cough* "Carry on then")

Rule 9#: The Doctor wears bowties-bowties are cool

('Nuff said)

Rule 10#: No spying on people's past

(Me and the Doctor went to Amy's and Rory's first date)

(It was so funny)

(Rory was sweating so much)

(Amy looked kind of bored)

(All hell broke loose when they found out)

('YOU WERE WHERE?')

**Wow! First chapter done! Hope you guys liked it, don't forget to R&R! I'm going to try to do ten rules every chapter. Tell me what you think. **

**Oh, and thanks to Bree-Bee233 for getting me into guidelines rules. Yay! **


	2. Rules: 1120

**Hello! This is my Doctor Who fic! So enjoy! **

Rule 11#: These codenames are not to be used on dangerous enemies

* Wizards

*Puppies

*Scissors

*Plumbers

*Amys

Rule 12#: Along with rule 11, Codenames are only to be used if everyone knows what they are

(A lot of confusion can happen)

(Oh no Doctor! The wizards are attacking Earth!)

(Wizards= Daleks)

(Doctor: …?)

(Only me and River knew what was going on)

Rule 13#: When getting Rivers attention don't use her real name

(She was working on the TARDIS)

(I sat there saying 'River, River, River, River, River')  
(Didn't even glance at me)

('River, River, River, Melody…)

('WHAT?')

('…..What you doing?')

(*Pulls out gun*)

Rule 14# Mirror suits can be you're friends!

(Your best one when fighting Weeping Angels)

(But are bad with the whole 'running' thing)

(Doctor: Hurry up the Daleks are nearly here!)

('Coming just *wheeze* this suit is heavy!)

(Well it _was_ made of mirrors)

Rule 15# Parties are now banned from the TARDIS

(The Doctor didn't know there was one)

(WHAT THE SONIC IS ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?)

(Dancing..?)

Rule 16# Along with rule 15, choose the theme of dress up parties very carefully

(Me and Amy put on one)

(But the theme was 'The Doctor's Enemies')

(He wasn't please when he walked in to the TARDIS to a Darlek drinking punch with a Weeping Angel)

(I was the Darlek)

Rule# 17 Bree is not allowed on the TARDIS anymore

(She broke rule 1)

(Twice)

Rule 18# No randomly quoting songs

('He just gotter give me that look, when he give me that look then panties are coming off')  
(We all took a biiiigggg step away from Rory)

Rule 19# No ponytails on guys

(What were you thinking Rory?)

Rule 20# Don't let the Doctor near any big cakes

(He likes to climb inside)

('Isn't that right Rory!')

('….shut up')

**Wow! Chapter 2 done! **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added me as a favourite author. **

**And always remember, turn left. Always left… **


	3. Rules: 21 32

**I just realised that there was only 9 rules in the last chapter. So here's an extra one for you! No? Alright then!**

Rule 21#: Nobody listens to Rory

(It's not really a rule)

(But it's true)

Rule 22#: River's gun is off limits

(This always ends badly)

(Bree has a death wish)

('Ha, ha, ha! Its mine now River!')

(River: *Pulls out spare gun*)

Rule 23#: Don't break into the TARDIS

(We didn't have a key)

(What else could we have done?)

(The Doctor is still mad about it)

Rule 24#: No karaoke

(River is surprisingly good at it)

(But not Rory…)

Rule 25#: Choose your panic words very carefully…

(Our one was 'Donna Noble')

('DONNA NOBLE! DONNA NOBLE!')

(Donna: "Why are you yelling my name?')

('No reason…but you might like to start running now…')

Rule 26#: No walking round like a Cyperman

(I got some odd stares on the bus)

Rule 27#: These following pick-up lines are banned FOREVER!

*Hey Amy, can I swim in your pond? (Amy slapped Rory) (Me and River were laughing so hard)

*Hey River, can I play your song? (River didn't know how to respond to that)

* Hey girl, your making my TARDIS warp (We all took turns slapping The Doctor)

28#: Don't yell out the following in an emergency

*IMAFIRINGMYLAZER!  
* You aren't no match for my TARDIS!  
*Quick Amy! Use POND attack!  
* One day we are all going to look back on this day and laugh IN YOUR FACE!

Rule 29#: When your girlfriend gets sucked under the ground yelling at The Doctor won't help

(Rory should know better by now)

(*shakes head in shame*)

Rule 30#: Don't bet on how many times Rory will die

(River always wins)

Rule 31#: When talking to people for Torchwood don't tell them the Owen is worthless.

(Jack and Gwen just laughed)

(Seriously, what does he do?)

Rule 32#: Always install a Lemonade tap in the kitchen

(You will be surprised how many times you need lemonade on tap)


End file.
